The Girl You Thought You Once Knew
by AnchorsAweigh13
Summary: It’s been almost a year since the day Edward told me goodbye, the day he told me he didn’t love me anymore, the day he broke my heart. Will Bella ever be able to move on? Who will Edward come back to, does he think its the same adoring girl he left? R
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I sadly do not own anything! SM does even the sparkly God!**

**A/N: Ok so I am reposting this fanfic because I had to change up some things. So I would really love it if you would review it this time****. Let me know what's going on in those pretty little heads of yours.**

**I will try to put my playlist at the end of each chapter!**

It's been almost a year since the day Edward told me goodbye, the day he told me he didn't love me anymore, the day he broke my heart. The dreams aren't as frequent and the crying has stopped for the most part, and I've stopped hoping that someday he would come back to me. Things are still the same at school; I still get the dirty stares and the whispering when I walk down the hallways or enter a classroom.

I don't hang out with the same group anymore, I sit alone at lunch and I do my best to not blend in. Things have changed around my house and with Charlie as well, he has stopped checking on me at night I think he has even given up hope that I will ever return to the person I once was, the person I was when I was happy.

I walked down stairs to find that my dad had not yet left for work, which surprised me because lately he was gone before I woke up in the morning. He probably couldn't handle my sarcastic moodiness first thing in the morning. So I didn't take it personal when he barely even glanced up at me from behind the morning paper. So I was shocked when he spoke, "How are you doing this morning Bella?"

I stopped with my hand mid reach for the refrigerator door, "Whoa it speaks! Who would have thought it was possible." I pulled the door open to hide my smirk behind it, I couldn't see Charlie's face but I bet I knew the look he was giving me right about now.

"And now I see that was a bad idea, sorry to care." He went back to sulking behind his paper.

"Well at least someone is kind enough to care." I muttered under my breath, I banged the door closed and swung around to face him "And to answer your question, I'm doing just greeeeat!"

He hesitated a short second and checked his watch, "Alright well I guess I'll see you later then." He walked over to the front door and grabbed his Sheriff's jacket and gun holster off the coat rack.

"Yeah, see ya." Before he walked out the door he turned to look at me as if he wanted to say something else but thought better of it, I gave him a smile for the fun of it. He pulled his coat on tight around him and walked out the door.

As soon as I heard the engine fire up I rolled my eyes and heavily sighed. The phone rang and made me jump; I stood up and walked over to grab the phone off the receiver.

"Hello" silence, "Hello, whose there?" there was faint breathing from the other end, "Ok seriously, I know my voice is just so nice to listen to, and you can probably listen to it all day long, but as you can see I have a life. So who is this?" I spat with as much sarcasm I could put in my voice. After all of that a whisper came from the other end.

"I'm sorry."

That whisper took the breath out of me; it couldn't be him, could it? No I had to imagine it. That's crazy, of course it wasn't him, and anyway he left me.

I realized I was still standing in the kitchen with the phone pressed against my ear. I slowly lowered my arm and returned the phone on the receiver. I shook my head to rid the thought; I realized I was going to be late for school if I didn't leave now.

I arrived at school which just enough time to get to class. I was the last person to enter the classroom-of course- and all eyes focused on me, I had to do a double take at the desk in the back of the room.

I could have sworn Alice was sitting there starring at me with a sigh of relief on her face, but when I looked again there was no one there. I finally unglued my feet and shuffled to my seat, there was still a few curious eyes on me. I lowered my head, closed my eyes and tried to calm my breathing so I wouldn't hyperventilate.

What was going on with me today? First the phone call, now this! I had finally started to not let myself think about _Edward_ as much, but I hadn't forgotten about him completely, I had just pushed him deep in the corners of my mind.

The teacher finally called the class to order, I wasn't paying attention and I hadn't noticed that he called on me "Isabella?" asking impatiently.

I shook my head and looked up confused, "I'm sorry, what?"

Eventually the bell for lunch rang, kids hurried to the cafeteria to see who can get to the front of the line the fastest, I slowly made my way to the line and when I finally got to the front I just grabbed a water and walked to the same empty table to sit by myself.

I looked up to find that the table I used to sit at was staring at me, and the only two people whispering and snickering were Jessica and Lauren. Angela was also staring at me but her look was one of sadness and concern. I gave her a half smile, and then turned to position myself towards the window. I had a feeling someone was watching me, besides Jessica, Lauren and Angela, but I knew I would never be able to see who it was through the rain.

I let out a sigh as a single tear escaped sliding down my cheek. I had continued to think back about the phone call from this morning, would he really have tried calling me like that, wouldn't he know how much it would hurt me? Was he having second thoughts about leaving now? And what about Alice, was she keeping tabs on me? If she was she would have to have seen how bad it got after they just picked up and left, is that why she was back? I could have sat here and thought of a million reasons as to why, but thankfully the bell rang and it jerked me back to reality.

Finally the last bell to go home rang, everyone was excited to get their weekend started, and I'm sure mike's party had something to do with it also. I had eventually made it home, and it had just started to rain "perfect" I muttered under my breath. I threw open my door and practically ran to open the front door.

I laid my bag by the foot of the stairs, and made my way over to the kitchen. I started pulling things out of the fridge to make Charlie's dinner, when I noticed the red light on the phone was blinking, I froze not breathing, "it can't be" I shook my head and started to laugh, I must really be going crazy

"Bella get a hold of yourself, he left you, and he is not coming back." I straightened up and went to stand over by the phone, I stood facing the wall, and I reached out to click the button with a shaky hand.

"You have three unheard messages, first unheard message"

"Hey Bella, its Jacob. Listen I'm really sorry about the last time we hung out, I don't like the way we left things. Anyways please call me back when you get this, bye." Rolling my eyes I listened to the next message.

"Your next unheard message"

"Hey Bells, its dad, don't bother making dinner tonight, Billy asked us over for the game" I looked over to the counter where I had placed the food.

"Your next unheard message"

"…… (Breathing)……" I stood motionless trying to catch my breath.

"End of your unheard messages"

The room started to shake around me; I gripped the edge of the counter I was by so I wouldn't fall when I realized it was me that was trembling. Just like earlier today I started to look around me. I looked out the window knowing I wouldn't be able to see anything, but I had that feeling again like I was being watched.

I went to put to food back in the fridge so it wouldn't spoil, and walked back over by the stairs to get my bag; I rushed up to my room, put my bag down by my desk and went to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror, I looked like hell, my eyes had dark circles under them and my hair was damp and knotty from the rain. So I yanked my hair brush through it fast, it didn't help much but it made some improvement, I then turned on the water and splashed some cold water on my face, and wiped it with my washcloth.

I reached under the sink and pulled out my little tin box from the back, and placed it on the counter. My heart started beating faster and my hands shook lightly knowing what was hidden in the box. I slowly opened up the lid, pulling out the small silver razor blade, I just stood there starring at it, knowing what I was about to do. In some strange perverse way, my body craved it, willing my hand to drag the blade along my flesh. In a way it was like a rush, this secret I had that nobody else knew about but me. It took the pain away, even if it jus lasted briefly.

I slowly picked up the blade, twisting it in my pale trembling fingers. I pulled back my sleeve up to my elbow, bringing the cold silver blade down to the back of my forearm, putting pressure and I drag it effortlessly across, careful not to go to deep. A small gasp escapes my parted lips, before a stream of red dances down my pale skin and lingers for a moment before rolling off my middle finger. I quickly grab the washcloth from the tin box and put it over the cut, slide down the wall with my knees up by my chin, lay my head back and let out a sob I've been holding back all the while slowly fading in an out of consciousness.

**A/N: Please review, Please, Please, Please… Ok I'll stop now :p**


	2. Chapter 2

**Twilight! 2**

"_Bella is that you?" Jacobs's groggy voice protruded through the darkness._

"_No this is your worse nightmare." I couldn't help but giggle "who else would it be?" I shot back a little too loudly._

"_Shhh are you trying to wake my dad?" he looped his arms around my waist and yanked me into the room where we both collided to the floor._

"_Ouch! Shit, could you have pulled me any harder?" I swear sometimes Jacob didn't know his own strength._

"_Wait a sec, are you drunk Bells?" he was rubbing the side of his head where my knee landed. _

"_Who me? No." I grinned "well maybe just a little." That was a lie, the truth was I had been drinking most of the night, but he didn't need to know that._

"_It's been two weeks Bella. At some point you have to realize he made his decision and he's not coming back." He got to his feet and plopped down on his bed, scooting over to make room for me._

_I turned my back on him and peeked out of the window. I hid the tears that treated to expose me. I hated crying in front of Jacob, feeling vulnerable and open. I scarcely ever cried in front of him, but ever since Edward picked up and left I was like a big blubbering baby._

"_How can you even say that to me? You of all people should know what I have gone through" I turned to face him, staring him down, feeling the urge to either hit him or… or… or hit him. _

"_How can YOU still defend the leech?" he took a step closer, hand clenched into tight fists. _

"_This was a mistake, I should have never expected to understand." I turned on him, threw one leg over the windowsill beginning to climb down. Jacob's hand gentle clamped down on my elbow willing me not to leave._

"_Wait, don't go. Look I was a jerk, I shouldn't have said that." I turned my heard around to look at him while shrugging my arm out of his grip. "Just please don't leave." He waited gauging my reaction and when I didn't speak he continued. "At least wait until you're not so drunk." _

_I puffed out a long breath "Goodbye Jacob" and with that I disappeared into the darkness._

The shrill piercing ring of the phone pulled me back to reality. Still clutching the washcloth at the fresh cut, now bleeding slightly less. "Shit" I flung myself down stairs reaching the just in time. "Hello" I panted out of breath.

"Bells?" it was Charlie, checking up on me I'm sure.

"Hey Charlie old boy" I snickered rolling my eyes. That had been the nickname I had given him, I thought it suited him well. He didn't seem to like it so much.

"Are you ok? You sound out of breath."

"Oh yeah I'm just peachy. Sorry bout that I was upstairs and I had my music on." I lied but I couldn't tell him what I was really up to, he'd have a cow if he only knew what was really going on.

"Oh. Well did you happen to get my message?" he asked but before I could respond he added "I will probably swing by after work to change my clothes and then we could leave."

That's right dinner at the Blacks tonight. I really wasn't in much of a mood to see Jacob yet, especially after just having that flashback. I was still angry and upset with him. I had a right to be mad at him, he was supposed to be my best friend and I went their that night for support and someone to lean on, not get criticized.

"Hello kiddo, you still there?"

"Oh yeah, about that well you see I was wondering if I could skip it?"

"What do you mean skip it?" he asked annoyed

"You heard me. I have a ton of homework that I wanted to start on tonight." He was probably going to bring up the fact that it was Friday and that I had the whole weekend to get it done.

"Bells it's Friday, you have the whole weekend to start your homework. How about if you drive yourself and stay just for dinner then you can leave, deal?" if I refused this option too then he would definitely piece together that something was off.

I hesitated a moment, leaning my head against the wall. "Deal"

****

I dreaded the entire drive over to Jacob's, I was thankful once again that my truck only maxed 55mph. It gave me some time to think of what I wanted to say to him, or how to even approach him. It had been almost a year since I had seen him; I had talked to him on the phone once or twice but I had always kept it brief.

I pulled up in front of the Blacks' house; it was a small wooden place with narrow windows, the red paint making it resemble a tiny barn. I idled for a bit before gathering up enough courage to get out of my truck. "You could do this Bella. You could do this." I encouraged myself aloud. "What are you so afraid of?" ok now I felt silly for talking to myself, but honestly what was I so afraid of? The possibility that Jacob could be right about Edward, that he really wasn't coming back. I shook that thought right out of my head, just when a loud tap came at my window. It startled me making me yelp. I stammered out of my truck almost falling on my face but two strong hands saved me the embarrassment. I righted myself standing awkwardly twisting my hands in one another.

"Thanks" I raised my eyebrows biting on my lower lip; I had no idea what to say to him.

"No problem" he ran his bulky hand through his hair twisting it through his fingers. Until finally pulling out a rubber band from his hip pocket and wound it around the long black bundle. His excited grin stretched wide across his face, the bright teeth standing in vivid contrast against his deep russet color skin. He opened his mouth as if to say something else but in that same instant closed it.

"Well we should probably get inside before it starts raining again." I raised my head to glance at the sky, it had stopped raining on the way over here, but it wouldn't last long.

"Dinner's not quite ready yet, we can go hang in the garage like old times." He seemed eager to spend time alone with me

I shrugged my shoulder "Alright." I had him lead the way even though I knew exactly where it was. We had spent most of the summer in there after Edward had left. We walked around the house through a thick stand of trees and shrubbery that concealed his garage from the rest of the house. It wasn't really a garage; it was more like a couple of sheds bolted together with their interior walls knocked out.

His 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit was parked under the cover of the home made garage. I remember coming over to watch him work relentlessly on it, I would come keep him company and we would joke about our ages and who was mentally older. Now it was complete and I have to admit it looked amazing, he really knew his way with fixing up old cars.

"So how have you been Bella?" he leaned down to reach in his blue cooler that he kept in here stocked with sodas and handed me one. I took it and rolled it between my hands nervously.

"I've been busy with school." I chuckled and he looked at me like I had lost it. "Well I should say I've been busy trying not to blend in at school."

"Well at least I know after all this time, your attitude hasn't changed much." Now it was his turn to bark out a laugh, he elbowed me in the ribs raising his eyebrows.

"What has Jacob Black been up to?" I asked with a little acidity thrown in.

"Well… Aw hey I was just kidding Bells." He obviously heard the change in my voice

"I was just asking you the same question you bestowed upon me." I threw him a fake smile.

"Hey listen I actually wanted to talk to you about something" he took a deep breath and looked me square in the eyes, he looked nervous about something and I couldn't tell what it was. He moved over to sit next to me and leaned somewhat to where the tips of our noses where almost touching. "I am really sorry about the way we left things between us."

I started to breathe a little heavier; I didn't quite understand why he needed to sit so close to apologize. But at the same time I didn't exactly back away either. "I'm sorry too." And before I knew what happened next we were both moving a little closer until our lips meshed together.

**A/N Ok so I didn't expect that coming... hehe well I hope you read and review to let me know what you think.. Are you feeling this? Are you not? Either way tell me **** and hit that little button down there... Right down there... Do you see it? Yeah that one right there **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything, Stephenie Meyers does.**

Jacob kissed me soft at first and then went to deepen it; I unconsciously intertwined my hands in his soft silky hair. I had longed for this, someone to caress me and be there for me knowing they wouldn't just pick up and leave, so I went with it. Our breathing started to quicken and my heart was hammering; I swore it was about to burst out of my chest any second.

Jacob made one swift motion, roughly placing his hands on my hips, picking me up and setting my down on his lap. I wrapped my legs around his waist hooking my feet together so that I was straddling him. Our lips never parting, when I moved my head to the side to catch my breath he trailed kisses down my neck to the indent of my collar bone.

"We better stop before Charlie comes out looking to see where I have vanished to." I panted, afraid to look Jacob directly in the eyes. I didn't want to stop but I didn't want to lead him on either, especially with _you know who_ on my mind.

"Bella I know you don't want me to stop" I saw him smirk out of the corner of my eye, and he was right I didn't want him to stop, I could get used to this; having someone who was strong embrace me with the gentlest of touches. But my mind would instinctively go straight back to that bronzed hair God.

"You're right I don't want you to stop, but we can't stay here I don't want anyone to disrupt us" I winked and he caught what I was hinting at.

"Bella you know you deserve to be happy and I believe that I can do that" he was staring at me intently now trying to read me. He was right I did deserve to be happy and I thought I was once upon a time, until he burst my bubble.

He leaned down and kissed the tip of my nose before settling me on my feet and before we set out towards the house I stopped him "Hey listen Jake, I believe that you would make me happy too." I smiled up at him just staring in his rough eyes.

He gave me his excited grin once more before pulling me into one of his bear hugs "Can't… Breathe… Jake…" he immediately released me and I wobbled slightly before regaining my stance.

"You wont regret this Bella, I promise you that I will never hurt you" and part of me believed him.

"You better not" is what I wanted to say, but instead I just quietly followed behind him.

****

I yanked my hand out of Jacobs before entering the small red house, and shoved them deep into my pockets. Charlie was in front of the TV with a beer perched in his hand. His focus was distracted by the game playing in front of him, so it took him a moment to notice us enter and sit on the couch. "Hey what are you kids up to?" he eyed me suspiciously

"Oh you know the same ol shenanigans; sex, drugs, and rock and roll" I heard Jacob stifle a laugh and Charlie's eyes immediately darted to him, letting him know that he was not amused. But I could see a hint of a smile deep down by the slight twitch of his stash.

"Hardy har har!" he returned his eyes to the TV set and remained quiet until Billy wheeled in and announced that dinner was ready.

The kitchen was a small room with a small table so we all squeezed in around it, bumping elbows and knees, with a sorry here and there. Billy had Jacob grab an extra chair from out back since the table only sat four, I offered to eat outside but they wouldn't have it they wanted to use this time to catch up. Throughout dinner several times I would look up and come across to catch Jacob looking at me, he didn't break the stare and I wondered what he was thinking when he looked at me, what did he see that everyone else didn't.

I quickly put my gaze back down on my plate, I barely touched my dinner moving it around so that it looked like I was enjoying it not to be rude, "Billy may I please use your bathroom?"

"You know you don't have to ask Bella, but yes you may you know where it is" they picked up their conversation as soon as I left the room and headed towards the bathroom. I needed to get out of there and have a second to myself, I shut the door and quietly locked it behind me; I turned towards the mirror catching my reflection, my face was flushed and my lips were a little swollen, my hair was frizzed out from the damp weather outside. I ran my fingers through it acting like a comb it didn't do much of a difference but it was good enough for now.

I turned the faucet on warm and filled the basin, I lowered my head down and plunged my face in the soothing water, and it loosened me some. I closed my eyes remembering a time when I was happy, my mind went to when I was four years old walking down the beach hand in hand with my mothers, splashing in the water as the waves came rolling in. I remember my mother picking me up under my arms and swinging me around in a circle I was giggling so much I had a hard time catching my breath.

A knock on the door brought me back to reality, I gasped for air as soon as my face came out of the water. "Bella are you alright in there?" Jacob's voice was low and muffled by the separation of the door between us but I was still able to understand him.

"Yeah, one second" I closed my eyes once more and the tears started to cascade down my cheeks, I stifled a sob into the towel so he wouldn't hear me.

"Ok" I heard footsteps and what sounded like the screen door open and slam shut

I hurried and wiped my face along with the tears in the towel and took a deep breath before exiting the bathroom. Charlie and Billy were still in the kitchen chatting, so I quickly made my way outside to find Jacob. He was leaning against the rear of my truck looking down at his hands; something shiny was dangling from his fingers. He didn't hear me approach behind him. He quickly looked up startled and his hands flew behind his back he looked embarrassed.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you" I said as I moved my head trying to peek and see what was behind his back "so what's that you got there?" I nudged my chin out indicating what he was holding.

"Hmm who me?" he asked looking around as if he didn't know who I was talking to

"Yes you, I'm looking at you aren't I?" I said placing my hands on my hips raising my eyebrow.

His eyes darted back to the ground and he kept shifting his weight between feet "Oh it's just a little something for you, but I want to wait to give it to you"

"Why can't you give it to me know?" I didn't mean for that to come out sounding rude, and I hope he didn't think it was.

"I kind of wanted to wait until it was just you and me alone at a better time"

Good thing my face was already flushed because this brought a blush that crept up my neck to my cheeks. I've never really thought about spending time alone with Jacob like that, but now that he put the thought into my head I couldn't help but imagine what it would be like. Having his strong rough hands all over my body, having his lips on mine exploring every inch and vise versa. This brought on another blush.

"Oh ok, well how about we meet tomorrow night. Do you think you can sneak out and meet me?"

This caused him to look up and smile "What do you think I am, four? Of course I can sneak out" he furrowed his brow "Where exactly am I meeting you?"

"Let's see… how about we meet at La Push?"

"Ok sounds good to me" he moved in to give me another bear hug and gently brushed his lips over mine stricking Goosebumps along my flesh.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything, Stephenie Meyers does, I just enjoy playing around with them.**

_Flashback_

_"I don't want to you to give it all up; you never gave us a chance to be, so why are you running away?" I calmly exclaimed. "And I was the one lifting you up when you thought your life had had enough, and when I get close, you turn away there's nothing that I can do or say. Is it me or is it you?"_

_He stared at me for what seemed like forever before he had finally decided to speak. "I can't answer that for you, I'm sorry."_

_"I just want you to tell me the truth you know I would do that for you!" I was starting to get frustrated with him and the fact that I was too shocked to even cry. "Is it me or is it you?"_

_"Yes, it is you and I'm sorry that that sounds so harsh but that is the truth. I cant put us or the rest of my family in danger anymore. It's not safe for us to be together anymore."_

_I could not believe what I was hearing; he was blaming me for everything that has happened. "Wait.. What? You're leaving because it's not __safe? __That's what you're telling me."_

_"Yes." A one worded answer was all he could give me._

_"Edward I know what I was getting myself into when I found out who you were. I don't want you to feel sorry for me, you never even gave us a chance to be." I repeated, I was practically begging at his feet now for him to rethink this._

_"I'm sorry Bella, I've made up my mind, and I'm leaving." The look on his face was as cold as night and had no expression that I could read. He started to turn and walk away but before he did he slowly turned around debating weather or not he wanted to add something more. "Oh and two more thing, please try and be safe, I'm not asking you to do it for me. I'm asking you to do it for Charlie. And lastly I want you to move on and pretend like I never even existed." And before I had time to say anything he was gone._

_This had all felt like one major bad dream that I could not wake from. Once he was gone it all hit me like a ton of bricks that I collapsed onto my knees with my head in my hands. I felt like I couldn't catch my breath and I realized it was because I was sobbing so hard onto the forest floor, this wasn't happening, this was so __not __happening! __Come on Bella get up, you have to get up and follow him. __I thought and I new I would never be able to catch up to him, but I had to try. I knew I would never be able to go through life knowing that I didn't try._

_I suddenly had the urge to get up and go in the direction that I thought Edward had gone in, nothing seemed even slightly familiar. It all looked the same to me that I didn't even know if I was going in a straight line or just one big circle. The look on Edwards face was so hard that that was all I could think about. I thought we were close enough to the point where he could be open with me. I guess I was wrong._

_I didn't know how long I was walking aimlessly through the forest searching basically for a ghost that I would never find. I suppose that it was starting to get dark but the forest was so full of trees that I couldn't catch a glimpse of the sky to tell. I felt numb all over and decided to crawl up into a ball again and lay on the damp floor. I must have fallen asleep and not realized it, and I thought I heard a faint echo of a voice somewhere deep in the forest._

_"Isabella Swan?"_

_There it was again, Charlie must have gathered a group to come out and look for me once he realized I wasn't home with dinner waiting on the table for him. A light in the distance was now coming this way getting closer, I couldn't see who was holding the light and I didn't even blink when it beat right in my eyes._

_"Bella? Is that you?" A very familiar voice called out to me but I couldn't pin point as to who it was. "Bella it is you, are you ok? What happened to you? Are you hurt?" his words came out in a rush. "Its ok I've got you now and you're going to be ok."_

_Once I felt the heat of his body who ever it was I started shaking uncontrollably not realizing how cold I was. When I detected that it wasn't Edward who had possibly decided to come back for me, I let out a soft sob into this mystery person's chest. He was really gone and not coming back._

_We had descended from the mouth of the darkened forest when I heard Charlie sigh in relief. "Bella, thank god you're ok." His eyes were moist and puffy, he must have been insane with anxiety when he saw that I hadn't made it home. "I will take her from here Jacob."_

_So it was Jacob who had found me in the woods and carried me back to my house. "It's ok Charlie I have her I just need you to open the door for me so I can lie her down on the sofa."_

_Jacob was not going to budge until Charlie had done what he was asked. When he didn't move Jacob calmly said "I can stay like this all night, but I would like to get Bella inside so she can get warm." Charlie gave him a look as to say he was not amused but quickly went to open the front door._

_Once we were inside Jacob carefully placed me on the sofa with a blanket covered around me. Charlie had set a fire so I could warm up even faster. "Bella, what happened out there?" he waited for me to answer and when I didn't he continued onto another question. "Did you take a walk and get lost in the woods or something?" Again I didn't answer; I just stared into the fire. "Bella, honey?" I could hear strained sadness in his voice._

_Charlie had stood up from kneeling beside me and headed into the kitchen so that the doctor could examine me. Once he was finished he followed after to join Charlie in the kitchen. I was trying to take in the conversation between the doctor and Charlie._

_"Hey Doc how is she?"_

_"Well now I think its just exhaustion so I gave her a sedative so she can sleep through the night."_

_"I can't figure out why she would be that far out in the woods by herself." He sounded perplexed._

_"Well she didn't say anything at all Charlie, but whatever it was that has her acting like this just give her time and I'm sure she will come around."_

_"Well thanks for making a house call tonight."_

_"No problem, I'm just glad that Bella is safe."_

_I could feel the sedative start to take affect instantly, and could feel my eyelids becoming droopy. I heard the front door close softly and Doc's car drive away before I fell into an involuntary sleep._

_****_

I had awoken with a start, I was sweating and panting I tried focus my eyes to the dark room, blinking the sleep away. I listened to see if I had disrupted Charlie's sleep but I heard his muffled snored through the walls. It had been a while since I had even let myself dream about him, why now, my dreams where the only place I thought I could truly be happy, now they were even betraying me.

It was still dark outside so I lay back against my pillow and slowed my breathing, willing myself to go back to sleep. When I was unable to I got out of bed and walked over to my computer knowing nobody would be on this early, but what the hell what else was there for me to do. Part of me was nervous about spending time alone with Jacob later on today thinking that if I did let myself go with him then I was being unfaithful to _him._ I know I know pathetic right who knows what _he _was doing wherever _he _was.

My computer finally kicked on and my email was flashing indicating that I had two unread messages. The first one was from Jacob and the second one was from an unknown sender.

_Bells,_

_I just realized we never specifically picked a place where to meet. Let's meet at our usual spot by the flat rock around four? See ya then._

_Jake_

I quickly responded letting him know I would be there, I opened the next message and stopped breathing.

_I'm sorry._

Those two words were popping up a lot, ok this couldn't be real it had to be some asshole kid from school playing what they thought was a practical joke, it was most likely Jessica and her two timing witch of a friend Lauren. I hit the delete button not even giving them the satisfaction that they got to me; I would never hear the end of it.

Ugh, no I wouldn't let them get to me I just had to keep telling myself that. I slammed my laptop closed and hopped up from my chair and began pacing my room shaking my head in frustration.

No this wouldn't do, this was not calming me one bit, I stomped my foot and blew out a heavy sigh. Did I really just stomp my foot? Gee I guess I did. Did I really just ask myself a question? Gee I guess I did again. Oh boy now I was talking to myself, that was never a good sign.

Opting to go for a long run to clear my mind, since it was starting to get light outside I grabbed my shoes and my I-pod and flew down stairs. I closed the door quietly behind me and was briefly paralyzed by the cold but I pushed through it. I scrolled through my playlist picking a song that would push me to go hard.

I chose open your eyes and look north by Dance Gavin Dance, gah I loved them. Every time I needed to get a good workout or clear my head I knew I could always count on them. I started working up a sweat and immediately felt less tense but I was so caught up in the song that I hadn't realized where I was running to when I tripped and stumbled on something and landed in a mud puddle on my stomach.

"Shit!" I was panting and looked around to see what I had so clumsily almost broken my ankle on; it was a tree root sticking up out of the ground. Since when was I running on dirt? Oh I'm talking to myself again, my eyes scanned my surroundings taking in the trees, and wet dirt, and the quietness.

I started to breathe a little bit harder knowing exactly where I was, it couldn't be could it? I mean I could have been anywhere but no I had to end up here. Oh get a grip Bella you know exactly where you are. It was the spot where _he _told me goodbye.

**A/N thanks to everyone who has decided to give this story a chance, but don't fail me know, you know what would make me happy? Reviews silly children.**

**So let me know if you're digging this or not! Either way tell me please.**


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